i can't focus. i don't know why and it's driving me out of my mind.
i have books everywhere that i want to read.
i have two fantastic photography classes.
i have a cool project on my desk at work.
i have research to do and people to email.
i have some cool shit potentially brewing.
but nothing is getting done.
and it's been like this for too long. my distraction is exhausting and beginning to freak me out. i've always been insanely focused, but about four years ago, i noticed that wasn't going so well for me. i've been on a steady decline, but able to gimp along with brief stretches of focus. however, this past month has begun to scare me.
all i want is for a few things to settle down in my life. i need a little routine. please, keeper of the universe, stop yanking my chain. just about the time that i feel like i'm going to get that steady feeling again... the one that makes me feel balanced and ready to conquer the world... a piano falls on my head.
it's getting depressing.
i don't want to talk about it. i want some terra firma. i want to get my groove back.
but, i've tried all of my regular tricks... made lists, cleared my schedule, exercised, meditated, yoga, made friends, readjusted my goals... and where am i?