Tuesday, January 26, 2010
periodically, i burst into honest to goodness ROTFLMAO guffawing. this is one of those days.... oh mr. horoscope, today you're getting lots of brownie points! just call me the pitbull of love and hand me the white pages!
"Oh, my. You're definitely in the mood for romance -- but not just romance. It's time for passion of the most intense kind! And this is definitely a long-term proposition. You want depth, intensity and a real soul-sharing experience, and you won't stop until you have it. The good news is that if anyone is capable of having it, it's you. Get in touch with the person who can provide you with it."
Sunday, January 24, 2010
meet Jen and Erich who were married september 26, 2009, always laughing, and game for any shooting fun that Liz wanted to try. (click the photo for more)
i was lucky enough to shoot as second for Liz Reiff Sloan of L Photographie. Liz is insanely creative and bold... we put these two on a metro train! what an inspiring photographer and patient teacher!!!
the weather was a constant threat and rained a little on our parade, but as the couple emerged from City Hall... there was a double rainbow. W.O.W!
(the green bay packers were staying at the westin that weekend and i got to ride the elevator with a lovely selection of the defensive line. what a day!)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Shane and Veronica were married on September 12, 2009.
a friend from a photog class knew i was trying to get experience shooting weddings and asked if i'd like to tag along. OF COURSE!
i was the third shooter, and this turned out to be the second wedding for all three of us--a major learning for me.
i got a pretty good sense of the craziness of a big wedding party... 20 peeps! YIKES!
what i learned that day? the photographer really is one of the most important people in the wedding... listen to them! and as a photographer, i really need to know what the hell i want you to do, and how to get what i want.
only practice will perfect that.
thanks Kristi for inviting me along!!
Monday, January 18, 2010
it has been one of those days.
oh, yes it has.
i call these bad bio-rhythm days. the sort of day when everything is hard, from sending an email to writing a blog to taking a picture to getting dressed to getting food to your mouth to whacking yourself with the toothbrush thus smearing your face with minty fresh paste.
i woke up early to go see eagles and see what sort of pics i could get with big daddy... it'd have been his first run with the baldies. toooooooo much fog. if there was this much fog in the city, i didn't really have much hope for the outer areas. back to sleep.
wake up and clean the apartment. trip over the vacuum which has stopped working for all intents and purposes. obviously in need of coffee, i then consumed too much. so to counter caffeine jitters, i ate an omelet and then at 3 o'clock half a pbj, and just now, a handful of pizza rolls. ew.
save the day... take out big daddy and shoot some things in forest park. start with steinberg rink. screw up someones phone when they ask you to take a pic with their phone. back away.... back away... shootshootshoot.... nearly run to the car. this is a crappy day to be shooting forest park, give up and head back home.
i've been on edge this whole day, so of course, mom calls. GAH!
my bangs are too long and getting that funky flip, so i randomly attacked them. and now, just as the sun sets the clouds break and clear light bounce off the computer at me... too late.
weird edginess, i've been leery of people and nervous about going places. i'm watching my email like a hawk, but what for???? this day is jacked. i feel like the vinyl is skipping. good gawd, move the needle...
i need something stellar. something rockin and awesome. something to clear away the paranoid cobwebs.
thank heaven for this little dude... the golden moment in my day. :)
Sunday, January 17, 2010
so a friend asked me for a pic of the arch.
good grief, i didn't really have one. how is that possible?
i went downtown around sunset and shot the arch. any st louisan or photog in the lou worth their salt must have shots of the arch. (you know the drill. click the pic.)
i'm sure that i didn't find any new angles that haven't been shot a million times, but now they've been shot by me. :)
i really like getting up close and personal with things. i like the way some of these shots don't really show the size of the monument.
oh it's bloody huge.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
i have very strong feelings towards China, and it is sometimes a struggle for me maintain compassion and cultivate wisdom. it is sometimes difficult not become outraged and preach to anyone who will listen.
i wish that screaming, stomping and tears made a difference, but there are more effective routes. :)
i've been watching the spidery cracks of change spread ever so slowly.
when Google first went into China, i understood the argument and took this as just one more step in the direction of future change. with the developments of this week, i've been cautiously thrilled.
though i do not wish ill to anyone, especially not the Chinese employees of Google, i am rather excited to see a company of this caliber stand up to the Chinese government. this could set a precedent.
...and a precedent opens the door even wider to change.
i'll be watching what happens very closely, and i'll remain ever hopeful that one day His Holiness can return to his home in Lhasa.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
a guy told me that and i didn't think that was a very nice thing to say about guys. so, in my infinite wisdom, i disagreed.
but, the joke is on me. oddly enough, while watching a group of twenty something guys play on stage last night, it occurred to me that the guy who told me that was right. i really don't think the majority of men really want or need explanation. "your lips move, but i don't hear what you say."
i can't believe it took all these years to realize that all of my probing questions to understand and struggles to be clear and communicate, which ended up in paragraphs of emotional explanations, have been a huge waste.
i will not tell you, dear reader, how often i have second guessed my communication skills. you've read it here a dozen times.
"dating is hard" because we make it that way. the more i try to live in the moment, minimize expectations, and be honest about what i want, the deeper into the quicksand i am yanked.
i think the best that i can do is attempt to maintain a sense of humour in the face of the relentless and emotional lightening bolts. cry, laugh, cry, laugh. there is comfort in routine.
i am left with only one thought. i really need to get a cat.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
tonight we started a new choreo... a beledi piece. i prefer this of all the styles i've danced. it's internal. it's squishy and it is insanely sexy. most of the time, i wouldn't use the word sexy to describe belly dance because it just drags us old americans down a road that i don't want to go.
however, beledi is sexy and this is what i do best. i've never been a lofty, ballet-esque dancer who does raqs sharqi well. this is much more suited to my body and my demeanor.
i'm very excited and pleased with the way the first evening went. more to come...
Monday, January 04, 2010
i remember many, many nights, just as i'd be finishing, i would notice that the sun was setting. i would be alone in the house and standing exhausted in my dining room. i can still see it--the walls a mottled cream and olive that i'd sponge painted when we first moved in. the light would be bouncing off the neighbors gray wall and casting a blueish light onto the tablecloth. all the wood in the room would soak up the light turning the color of molasses. i can still see the curtains fluttering in the summer breeze.
the house was never silent. i was always playing NPR. but, at this time, when i was alone, i'd stop the radio. i'd put in this cd and play this song over and over and over. with my hair pulled up on top of my head, in a ratty, torn t-shirt and shorts, i'd sing this at the top of my lungs till i was hoarse. i could never get all the way through it without tearing up. i'd try again and again with tears streaming down my cheeks. i could never make it through that last stanza.
i never quite fit into the "normal" vision i was trying to be.
sometimes, i think this song kept me sane when i was most lost and confused. i didn't know what i was doing or why. i didn't know who i was. i hung on to the words of this song and promised myself that i was not going to blend into nothing and pass through this world unknown. i believed that what i was doing, what i was feeling... it meant something.
"with love, with patience and with faith, she'll make her way..."
you know me, immediately the ears perked right up. yes, what about Canada? who is this singing? what are they singing about? hrmmm.
so i went searching. i'm posting the lyrics and the song... nothing to look at, but it's a nice little song. it's called hindsight by a band called built to spill. i'm posting it because after listening several times, i'm not entirely sure that i get it. maybe you will?
it's sort of an earworm.
hindsight's giving me
too much memory
there's too much never seen
but it's always there
cuz it's everywhere
taking my own advice
worked out for me nice
but now I come to find
the tricks we play
with human brains
they don't want to think about the other side
is that grass just greener cuz it's fake
cuz that's all that we've been told
since we were five years old
is that all we'll ever know
hindsight brings me down
it keeps me on the ground
and though I'm never proud
I wouldn't dare
if you weren't there
the thing with gettin' up
feels like giving up
feels like not enough
you eat a crumb
and waste a loaf
they don't want to talk about the other side
where the grass was greener than they said
cuz this doesn't bring to mind
what I'd expect to find
they must be color blind
what about canada
of pines and ice
morning comes in freight ships while you're sleeping
bad into ideas was no surprise
we'll wait till the wild has rights
the never lock doors at night
and kiss all those wars goodbye
Sunday, January 03, 2010
i like this photo. i followed this woman around to get her where i wanted her. i suppose it might have been a little invasive to go up and ask her to take that purse off. it wouldn't have been true street photography in my eyes.
i took this at the chicago art institute. that chicago trip has netted me a lot of photos that i really like. i stumbled upon this file the other day... MORE! i thought that i'd gotten through all of them. click on the photo to see more that i took in the museum and in the city. i'm actually really fond of several in the batch.
lately, i'm really itching to get to our art museum. there is something about shooting people in museums that i enjoy, the dynamics that people express. people are fascinating any time that i can shoot them when they've forgotten themselves and are just engrossed in whatever it is that has their attention.
you are my favourite subject. :)
this is still for january 2. again, i'll assume this disqualifies me. i'm too lazy to read the rules. yet, we carry on!
today's best? i had dinner with my friend, Mike, and that is a hands down best of the day, cuz, well, he's cool, and it's always a treat to break bread with him. i was really running on low though and don't think i was a good dinner companion. this cold is bordering on harsh and the meds have numbed my brain. nonetheless, indian food and Mike is one of my all-time favourite combos.
there is another best of the day... my jasmine bloomed! it's been two years since i got this plant. i bought it blooming, of course, but it hasn't bloomed again until today! my little oasis smells absolutely incredible. jasmine is one of my WOW smells. it will stop me in my tracks.
and kudos to a friend who made the post today. not just the paper, but the cover. yup, he is the skateboarding dude grimacing in pain after a fall. i get the impression he does that a lot... but, one thing he seems to be is resilient, and i think that's a dandy and admirable quality to have. he says he was actually laughing in the shot, and you know what? as much as that guy laughs, i bet it's true.
and there is a bonafide worst of the day. i was looking through the pics of the second wedding i shot. i'm very disappointed in my work. there are some shots that i'll post, but this makes me really question my abilities. it's very frustrating. i'm going to look at this as a learning, to quote the company corporate speak.
Friday, January 01, 2010
i'm looking at the blank pages of january 2010. the best feeling of a new year is the excitement of possibility. new year's day is the day for daydreams.
it is also the beginning of my new year purge. there are so many "things" both real and figurative that are cluttering my life and choking my chi.
i've a weeks worth of cleaning and organizing... can i make a dent before sunday night? perhaps. probably not because i enjoy being distracted and revisiting the memories made as i collected all these things that are about to find a new home. it's my meandering...
my goals are lofty. my dreams are many. my heart is open. this is the best... the beginning.